Leadership is a Career Pinnacle, it can also Bring on an Identity Crisis

Why leadership can make you question yourself

Suzan Bond
5 min readAug 7, 2022
Photo by Doucefleur from iStockphoto

Firsts are exciting, they’re also confusing. We flop about. We don’t know what we’re doing. I remember my early days of leadership. Though I never expected to be a COO I recognized it as a career pinnacle. It was also the most confusing time of my career. My brain constantly rattled with questions. What value did I really bring? Did I deserve the role? Why did people see me as powerful when I felt like one of the team? I didn’t feel like a leader, I also didn’t feel quite like myself. I didn’t realize how much I’d have to change my concept of myself until much later. It took months to unpack and make sense of my experience.

When moving into a leadership role, folks often grapple with its full meaning. We might understand some parts while struggling with others. We don’t recognize that our emotional displays have a bigger impact than when we had less power. Or we don’t realize how much influence our words have. As we move through imposter syndrome, we don’t see ourselves as leaders. We might see ourselves as a fraud. At the same time, our conferred title means others see us as leaders. The team watches our behavior, looks for clues on how they should behave. We’re baffled when their perception doesn’t match with how we…

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Suzan Bond
Suzan Bond

Written by Suzan Bond

Leadership coach for new technology leaders. Fast Company contributor. Former COO Travis CI. www.suzanbond.com Twitter: @suzanbond